i think i'm gonna write a poem today.  i haven't written one since... possible past, not counting song lyrics, of course.  I only get like, one good one every few years, so I like to spend lots of time on them and really work them over.

i'm about to start nano in a few days, and i'm still only vaguely set on my idea.  i'm writing fanfic this year, because i want to get into the whole community feel of it by posting what i've written, and i can't do that with original stuff.  i was going to write harry potter fic, but now i think i'm going to get away from fantasy altogether and go with veronica mars.  hopefully my lack of fanfic writing ability and my lack of experience with writing mystery/detective stuff won't get in the way of writing 50k words.  there's a couple in the series that's on again off again, so i have an excuse to follow the first rule of nano: when all else fails, write PORN.  I took advantage of this in a big way last year.

the less i say, the more down i usually am, but i'm trying to get away from that with this, get things down on paper to see if they work out into some kinda theory.  i don't really know why i'm all hang-dog, but i did have a pretty bad month a while back that i even at the time wondered about my lack of reaction to.  maybe delayed reaction?  not sure.  i mean, i've been having some ridiculous dreams lately, violent ones where people die.  nothing like back with dyre, when i dreamt really graphically of my own death (more than once, might i add), but still.  dreams are very powerful for me, b/c i cannot, no matter how hard i tell myself to try, tell that they're dreams at the time.  i've often connected them with my waking mental state, though i don't have any real evidence that they're related.

i'd like to take this moment to say that i don't intend on murdering anyone at this time.  thank you.