not for all the tea in china

has been caught stealing

2009-08-28T20:17:50Z

Well hello there. Been a long time. I'm not here because of joyous events in my life; as usual, I only remember this thing exists when something bad happens. But I'm not here to talk about that sad thing.

In fact I'm not sure why i'm here if not to talk at length about things I can't change (try tho I might). You can't change people, and you can't fix them even if you can figure out what's wrong with them, or with you. I'm really sad, but I'm in that sort of flower-print place where I'm sad but not emo about it. I am really disappointed that one little thing can mess up something I thought was really worthwhile, but in a two-person machine, you don't always get to make the calls. If one person decides it's not worth peddling, you're pretty screwed.

Anyway, in slightly related news, I'm probably moving. Anyone in the B'more area need a roommate or know someone else who does?

agelade @ 2009-05-14T11:20:00

2009-05-14T15:23:06Z

Dear Google,

I have long been your hugest fangirl, singing your praises for everything from gDocs to chat to notebook (RIP) to calendar.

So please, get yer damn act in gear. This has been 15 of the most frustrating minutes evar, because even when I go to search for things on, say, ask.com, the search STILL hangs because the page is waiting on google ads or analytics to load. Please figure out how to pull your tendrils out of other sites when your own servers or whatever crash and burn. I know you can do it!

Thanks.

Ps I can't even try to figure out what's going on b/c the google group for gmail is obviously hanging as well.

afterimage

2009-03-23T01:21:11Z

I've been really productive. A couple of weeks ago I cleaned my car in preparation for this date that had the possibility of continuing on somewhere else, and I'd be driving. So I cleaned out the coffee cups and vaccuumed the carpets and wiped down the interiors and generally had a good time. Today I finished the job by giving the outside a good scrubbing. It's all shiny now. If only I could pop the dent out of the roof. I need one of those magnet things, or suction cup things. I don't suppose anyone has one they'd lend me?

I also went shoe shopping yesterday, because I really needed some black shoes to wear with my black stuff. I have brown shoes, but my black ones got, shall we say, peed on. SO. Payless. Look payless, you and I have had good times. You've always had something I liked. Sandles. The high-tops era. The period of shit-kickers. So what's with all the shoes in the girl's section having three inch high heels and straps everywhere? Do not want, Payless. You're better than that.

I finally found something i liked in a whole other section. Suffice to say, I now know for a certainty that I wear a size 4 boys. Sigh. Result: brown airwalks with lion rampant; black faux-crocodile dress shoes.

So after I washed my car, I went back into the house and proceeded to fall UP the stairs. So like a human, I cursed and went about my business. I doodled in my room for a couple of minutes massaging my jammed pinky and then went into the bathroom to pee. And then the pain hit and I suddenly couldn't breathe and my knees hit the floor and I threw the toilet seat up because I actually have a very clear head when I'm about to vomit.

Luckily I didn't actually vomit. And my finger isn't broken. I don't know why it hit like that, but I can bend it (with some pain) and it's not swollen. So I'm good, and I don't want to throw up anymore. Yay!

so now i'm torn between taking a shower and writing something. something about a girl who breaks her finger falling up the stairs, or something.

An Update in Six Movements

2009-03-19T16:53:04Z

Ch-ch-ch-changes.

I cut my hairs, and dyed them too. See icon. That's pretty much it, with shorter hairs in back. I also bought sunglasses, so the icon's even more accurate. yay. Also, I got this laptop named Archimedes which makes me all kinds of happy. That was a couple of weeks ago. I've all but stopped using my desktop computer entirely. It's so much easier to write on this little thing, and it's tiny. Acer Aspire One, linux flavour. <3s What else. Oh, and I finally got a cell phone. That was actually a couple of months ago, but it's been a long time since I've done an update. I'm all up to date, until they come out with something else.

I haf also bin going on dates.

It's true. I don't actually like the brand new first date feeling, and I don't particularly like the boring could care less if we hang out tonight feeling. If I could bottle the middling "we've been dating for a couple of weeks and I still like having you around" feeling, I'd be set for life. I know there are people who swear by that first flustery butterfly-y feeling of nervous excitement, but I'm not one of them. I like it for two seconds until I think what a load of bullshit they're just as scared as I am, and then I start thinking about scooping them up and gently depositing them just outside the front door like they're a little spider I've got to man up and get rid of.

Which is probably not you know, the right way to think about it.

HOWEVER. I have been finding this recent bout of dating to be nice and relaxed and just the right amount of exciting, and I think it's because I don't give a shit about making Impressions or Presenting Myself. I just want to hang out, do stuff, have coffee, talk, and as long as that's what they want too, I'm cool. It's like dating for friends that may or may not eventually kiss you when you wink at them.

I have also been writing.

I wrote a short story, 3200 wds, a week or so ago. I like it. But I need to write more often if I'm ever going to like, have any chance at all of hitting the right editor with the right story. It's so subjective and hit or miss sometimes that I've really come to terms with rejection (I say that now, having never been rejected - let's just sit back and see what happens). I know it happens. I know it's like a bunch of stuff hitting all at once. But you still think, if it's good, it'll sell no matter what, and the truth is, if you don't find the market for it, it won't sell, no matter how good it is.

I may be wrong. In fact, I probably am. Things are too complex for anyone to ever be right about anything.

But anyway, I'm satisfied with the story.

I need to write more Rosebush though.

I got a very nice compliment on book one the other day from wyndhover, which I won't repeat because I'm not writing this in order to convince anyone of anything. She had a lot of good criticism that I'm going to take into account when I'm editing, and lots of nice things to say, and now I'm all pumped to write more of book two.

And I want a tattoo.

I've always said I could never get a tattoo because I'm too fickle. I'd get it and the next week bemoan it, wondering how in the world I ever thought getting a picture of a snake winking while eating an apple was a great idea. However, I've put a lot of time and love into my book, which features black birds, and I think it might warrant some permanence. I love black birds anyway, so it's not something I wouldn't otherwise like. I need to find a design, and I'm open to suggestions. I prefer a bird in flight. And I need to decide on where. The choices are the underside of my left wrist and the nape of my neck. I know the wrist one will hurt a lot. That's ok. I def do not want an armband, navel circle, hip, ankle, or tramp stamp tat. I could deal with a forearm one, but it's not in my top choices. The design itself should be small and black only. Suggestions?

I will probably be going up to visit shovel_bum so's we can get tattooed together. Since I'm a virgin and all. If that doesn't work out, I will con someone else into going with me.

Oh yeah, music.

I have to write some stuff for this year's compilation. I've discovered I really love recording. Or maybe it's just the Nice Package guys. I'm psyched to be working with them. I wanna get famous and turn other studios down in favour of working with Jason and Damon again. :-D For this one, I'm torn between Brokenland Parkway (aka Jibbsey's Song), Star girl (working title), and Clean Air Act (aka that song where you sing about killing animals for love). So we'll see.

Happy rainy cold, humans.

urban fable

2009-03-07T00:24:24Z

I has been riting.

but not much. Finished book one in december. took a "break" for a month or so which was really me going holy shit i can't write another damned word. started book 2 midway through january and am now on chapter 3. i sat on the back deck for a bit this evening to get some more done and it worked, a little. i don't think i want to keep anything i did tonight, but getting something down made me feel productive.

i stopped a few paragraphs in though, because i want to write something new for a bit. something gritty and horrible and fast and indelicate. like fable. maybe i should finish fable. only, i feel like i worked out the gritty indelicate parts in chapter 1 of that, and now i'm just going through the motions because i don't care about Bernice or Jesus like I cared about Zane and Ronnie. If i sit down with them, I'll care. Because that always happens. in roleplay, that happened to me all the time. i'd sit and think about random NPC #6 and give her some dialogue and suddenly she's got a brother and her dad's an alcoholic but the nice mooshy kind and her mom just wants the cat to stop pissing on the rug and bang. NPC-no-more.

one of the things that stops me from continuing on is that fable is too long. it's just over 50,000 words now, and it's about half done. I could maybe get it into an lgbt mag as a serial, but other than that, it's too long for publication except as an actual novel. what i should be doing is writing short stuff that i can submit to lit mags.

Anyway. that's the update. if anyone wants to read book one now that it's done (but still unedited), lemme know.

Eidleblumen

2008-12-23T17:13:48Z

Okay so like around quarter to one pm yesterday, I finished that book I've been talking about. It's DONE. Finished at 155,809 words. I'm gonna print it out and put it in a binder to work on a first (real) round of editing over the holidays.

YAY.

that is all.

FINIS

2008-11-26T19:09:37Z

Finished Nano at lunch today. A cool 50,083 words, some 80 more words than I got to last year. Of course, I pretty much quit as soon as i'm done 50k, so actually I failed a bit more this year than last year. It's like, how close to it can i come without going under. Or something. Anyway, the last 10,000 words are utter shit. Don't care. I'll fix in editing, when I actually feel like putting more work into it and really plotting it out and stuff.

For now those, I've moved back to Rosebush. I cheated a little and switched back and forth between nano and Rosebush over the last week, but now I can work on it without guilt.

In other news:

Eedle idle, fiddle fum,
A casket's brown and so is rum.
The piglet has run out of cheer,
And while the Moon has come so near -
We've all got noodles in our heads
And owls in our beds and straw in our sheds.
And so sayeth I, the one with the hands,
And the feet and the eyes and the dirt made of land,
'Be whole and be cheerful and stay clear of oysters.
And be kind to nuns, who at times live in cloisters.'

nanoo nanoo

2008-11-07T17:02:10Z

I haven't posted about Nanowrimo yet, but I am doing it. I'm just over 11,000 words in, of 50k, and I can already tell that, like last year, this story is going to be much longer than 50k. Unlike last year, however, I'm planning to finish it eventually, even after November's over. There's a timeline already set up, and it's fanfiction, so I can post it on a few sites, ff.net and a couple canon-specific sites. Complete strangers telling me to finish will help me actually finish, so yeah.

A word on fanfiction: as a rule, I find it embarrassing. I read it anyway, b/c I, like thousands of other people, suffer when a book is finished from just not knowing enough. Until now, however, I've refrained from actually writing it, b/c come on. Fanfiction? That's for people who can't come up with original ideas, right? In some respects, I still believe that. Fanfiction takes the world and character building issues out of the equation, to some extent, so that people who'd prefer to jump right into the plot bunnies in their heads don't have to bother with research or pre-writing work. And that's fine. And others enjoy the ready-made fanbase that comes from writing in a beloved canon. People fall in love with characters out of books all the time; it's sometimes nice to make those characters do what you want them to.

For me, I like to imagine what else might have happened, behind the scenes or with other characters off-camera. I haven't written much - I say this is my first, but there are actually two other examples I can cite. When I was ten, I read every Star Wars book I could get my popsicle-coated hands on and then set my pen to the start of my very own Star Wars book. It was set in the far future, which brought it to about nowish, and Earth existed. Basically, Star Wars with American teenager types as main characters. I never finished it and it sucked so hard, but hey, I was ten. And then last month I jotted down some ideas for this Veronica Mars thing I'd intended to write for Nano and discarded. I got 1300 words into this "jotting" thing and realised I'd actually been writing a story, and so I scrapped it so I could start fresh and official-like on Nov 1 in a different canon.

SO. I'm still embarrassed to be writing fanfic, but I posted this tiny chunk on the Nano LJ Excerpt post yesterday and got some nice compliments back:

He didn't end up being murdered at breakfast, which he was distressed to find was becoming a common way he'd started classifying days. Happily, every day thus far had that cheerful designation, so he went through lunch with a bit of confidence. Only a true low-life would murder someone at lunch.

So yeah. That's nano.

Oh, and I procrastinated and made a banner for it:

a trip to the dentist

2008-10-30T16:49:21Z

soooo i broke a tooth. i have a dentist's appt at 2 tomorrow, with a brand new dentist, since mine went all vision-impaired and left the practice. i was slightly disturbed that when I asked whether the doctor was accepting any new patients, the receptionist first asked me what kind of insurance I had before telling me "yes." i'm starting to collect all of my doctors in one place - my gp is in the hospital, my dentist now, my cardiologist people. there's an office full of shrinks there i'm still getting up the gumption to call. if a natural disaster strikes the UMH, i'll have to find all new doctors, but uh, that's unlikely, and I think replacing my doctors will be the least of my worries.

anyway, i'm glad i don't have to get through the party with a broken tooth, or having just come from the dentist. perfect timing? would have been to have this happen months ago, or not at all. i'll settle for convenient timing.

the party planning's going well. i hope to have pictures after the fact.

the end of an aria

2008-10-29T14:29:54Z

i think i'm gonna write a poem today. i haven't written one since... possible past, not counting song lyrics, of course. I only get like, one good one every few years, so I like to spend lots of time on them and really work them over.

i'm about to start nano in a few days, and i'm still only vaguely set on my idea. i'm writing fanfic this year, because i want to get into the whole community feel of it by posting what i've written, and i can't do that with original stuff. i was going to write harry potter fic, but now i think i'm going to get away from fantasy altogether and go with veronica mars. hopefully my lack of fanfic writing ability and my lack of experience with writing mystery/detective stuff won't get in the way of writing 50k words. there's a couple in the series that's on again off again, so i have an excuse to follow the first rule of nano: when all else fails, write PORN. I took advantage of this in a big way last year.

the less i say, the more down i usually am, but i'm trying to get away from that with this, get things down on paper to see if they work out into some kinda theory. i don't really know why i'm all hang-dog, but i did have a pretty bad month a while back that i even at the time wondered about my lack of reaction to. maybe delayed reaction? not sure. i mean, i've been having some ridiculous dreams lately, violent ones where people die. nothing like back with dyre, when i dreamt really graphically of my own death (more than once, might i add), but still. dreams are very powerful for me, b/c i cannot, no matter how hard i tell myself to try, tell that they're dreams at the time. i've often connected them with my waking mental state, though i don't have any real evidence that they're related.

i'd like to take this moment to say that i don't intend on murdering anyone at this time. thank you.

a few quick words

2008-10-24T20:48:53Z

utterly, inexplicibly dismantled

it's catching up, i guess

In other news

2008-10-17T15:55:31Z

Life of Ronnie: Some time ago, I had a minor hand in the union of my very good friend, sinda , and some weird Canadian, sketchboy (who doesn't actually have a lot of content on this now-abandoned LJ). Since then, I have had the pleasure of witnessing a happy, loving marriage. Most recently, a baby has happened! To celebrate, Chris took some time off from his webcomic and put out a call for guest artists. I begged off at first, because let's face it - not an artist, just a hobbyist. BUT I got bit by the bug and submitted something, chris put it up, and here it is: clickie! This is one of the very few webcomics I remember to check every Tuesday and Friday. Give it a look!
Ireland: There is an opportunity on the table to take a class abroad next summer in Ireland. It's a month long, from June to July, and focuses on photography. It's run through the Burren College of Art, which I'd been seriously considering a few years ago until I realised they probably wouldn't accept me. Money's the biggest issue, but if I can work that out, I'm going to definitely do this. I love the burren. They list day trips to the Aran Islands and Galway and that, all of which I also love, and I can definitely use the trip to refresh my memories of the area for when I'm planning book three. Send me good wishes for the success of this venture!
Elections: I called my dad to talk about the elections, just like four years ago. Just like then, after talking it over for a while, I said, "Dad, wherever you want to vote is fine with me, of course. Indiana always goes red anyway." But this time he said, "well, actually, it's really close." I looked it up today on electoral-vote.com and he's right. Indiana's classified as "Barely Republican," with only 4% points difference. As my dad is truly undecided, I found it advisable to try to sway him my direction. If he'd been really set, I wouldn't have tried to change his mind. In the end, he said who he was voting for, and to protect his right to privacy, I won't say which way he said he'd vote - but I'm pleased with our discussion and feel I did well explaining some things he'd been misled about. The problems he had with Obama that I couldn't comment on or agreed with him about, I was honest about, but tried to give my own insights about why he was still the better choice. (I understand that not all of my friends will agree with me, just recounting events here. I know lots of very intelligent Republicans and am officially Unaffiliated, myself.)
Rosebush: I'm halfway through chapter 19 right now, and I think it's going well. It's looking now like the finished product before edits will round out at 21 rather than 20, and that's okay. I'm also thinking I'll be over 150,000 words, and that's okay too. I wanted a tome-like book, and this is before edits anyway. Whenever I edit, I end up deleting more than I add, or reword things to be less wordy.
- There's a young person reading it now. I think she's on chapter 2 or 3. Her mom reports that she likes it, and that's a sign of success, to me. She's my audience, or a little younger than it, after all. Chel said she talked about the characters a bit on the drive to Grandpa's and said "poor Callum" and everything, and I'm just pleased as punch about that. I was way more nervous about her reading it than I have been about anyone else, except maybe jibbsey .
Nanowrimo: I'm doing it again this year, but I'm a lot more nervous about it, because I've never a) written from such a constricted outline before, or b) written fanfic. I'd try to write something original, but the fact is, I've had this idea in mind for ages and I'll never get to it if I don't do it for some sort of event like Nano. More info as it's available.
School: I have a mid-term tonight. I shouldn't be blogging right now. I should be studying. But I'm not. I'll do it sometime, probably.

progress quest

2008-10-10T15:34:01Z

139,400 / 150,000
(92.9%)

Other Stats

chapters: 19
avg wd/ch: 7,337
ppl reading actively: 4 (check every day, ask for updates, etc)
ppl on the readers list: 19

agelade @ 2008-10-05T09:49:00

2008-10-05T13:51:22Z

</div>

agelade @ 2008-10-01T16:07:00

2008-10-01T20:15:13Z

I admit it, this entry is mostly to try out my new banner. I'm lame. I know.

but in actual news, I got this new ergonomic keyboard at work and it's... interesting. shiny. and full of typo!fail. and the phones have been out for two days because a contractor cut the lines, yay! not really. when there's no phone at work, days are boring and i have to try to figure out how to fill them and i'm just generally crabby. at least when it's busy, something's getting done. when it's not busy, it's jut 8.5 hours i could have been writing or something. ARG.

i also decided on a new journal theme last night. i know people hardly ever read at the person's actual journal these days, but i do (regularly, so better spruce some of them crappers up, bish), so i'm conscious of how it looks when people go to it. the original reason for these little banners was that my often bulleted lists would overlap my userpic unflatteringly and having a banner take up the space seemed like a good idea at the time. so! yeah. plus, making things is fun!

<3,
age

your four-chambered heartbreak

2008-09-29T15:05:06Z

Ok, Lists.

Rosebush: Chapter 18 - FINISHED.
- I slept most of this weekend, and when I wasn't sleeping, I was writing.
- As has been happening, the chapter end snuck up on me. I assumed I had at least a thousand more words to go on it, but I stopped maybe 300 words into the last section. I'm just over 500 words into Chapter 19.
- I worry that -- well, it's almost song lyrics. Sometimes I worry that I've lost the plot. But really, I'm just worried that I won't write a good ending. I've only written a few in my life, since I hardly ever finish anything. Chapter endings are easy, because a) they sneak up on you and b) you can leave people hanging and they won't get pissed b/c they can turn the page and see what happens next. BUT. That's what readers - FORGIVING readers - are for. Halp me ficksss.

Band: CDs are here!
- They are 10$, plus shipping. Comment me if you want one.
- The Magusstein project has yet to get off the ground, but when it does, WATCH OUT. I'm seriously.

Grievous Personal Injury: Got an MRI on Sunday. Last Sunday.
- Those things are LOUD. Firstly, they have like... a HEARTBEAT. It's always thumping. And then when they're actually doing the business, it's like... a monster, eating you. And then there's a different kind of business, and that's like an alarm going off. I actually thought to myself, "Something's gone wrong. She'll be in here any second to tell me to run the eff away. Why isn't she here yet? Maybe she knows there's no hope for me, I'm too close to Ground Zero and she's making a run for it herself. Shit shit shit." But I didn't move b/c deep down, I knew that was all just silly.
- She took my glasses b/c they have metal screws in them. She wanted to take my sweater because it has a metal zipper, but she let me keep it because it was chilly. She warned me that I'd feel the magnet tugging my sweater down toward it, but said it'd be okay. She did not remind me (I'd say "warn," but I gotta be honest, I know how this thing works. I should have thought of it myself.) to leave my wallet with my roommate in the waiting room. Good bye, credit cards. I don't even use them, really. It was the whole blanking of my check card that smarted like a bitch.
- No, I don't know what the results are yet. I have to make an appt to find out about that and about my heart monitor readings.

School: We had a field trip on Saturday.
- Yes, during the rain. Yes it was outdoors. We were on a boat, the Sloop-of-War Constellation. It was beyond awesome. Why have I never been interested in boats before now? Sure I like being on them, but all the parts, the craftsmanship. What the hell? This stuff is awesome. I think I missed my calling as... a pirate?

I think that's it. I can't think of anything more, anyway.

HAY GESS WAT

2008-09-26T20:49:38Z

You are all invited.

BRING EVERYONE YOU KNOW.

Alien autopsy EXTREMELY possible. Dress accordingly.

The Process

2008-09-26T01:46:35Z

The process:

first, I trick myself into thinking I'm not gearing up to write at all. intellectually, i know i'm going to. But I walk around picking up things to put them away. anyone who's seen my room will be going >_> uh... really? but it's true. the things i put away are books and pens and stuff, so it's not noticeable to anyone but me.
then i tidy up my computer desktop.
then I play a game or 6 of solitaire (any flavour). I have to win at least one, and I can't start writing after I've lost; I have to play until I win. If I decide to keep playing after a win, and I lose, I have to play again and hope I win.
then I set a playlist. sometimes it's the one i've got set up for rosebush - soundtrack music, heavy and orchestral, mostly LOTR stuff. some celtic music for certain parts. sometimes it's a different playlist tailored to the mood of the character from whose point of view i'm writing that night. it won't match the setting, but that's less important.
then sometimes i light some candles and turn off the lights. lately i've been feeling like i hate this place, this desk, by this stupid window. turning everything off helps me leave it and get lost in the place i'm creating instead. (as a sidenote: i love this window. when i'm stuck, just need to blank my mind for a moment, i sit at it and look out it and breathe the air and listen to the laughing kids. but still.)
i've started using google chrome as a sort of long test to see if i like it. i do. i open the doc (from gDocs) and drag the tab out into its own window. then i minimize absolutely everything else.

lately, this process hasn't been enough. i've been adding things to it, hoping the extra foreplay will get me going the way i used to go. sometimes i really hate writing and never want to do it again. sometimes i feel a teensy thrill when i know i'll get lots of uninterrupted time with my kids and their troubles and the fantastical world i've made for them, and i get off a little on the idea of being that place's supreme being. more often, i'm having to track down one of my readers and get them to talk about the story with me, tell me things they're looking forward to, things they liked, theories they have about which person is what mythological other thing, etc.

it's pathetic, but if i want to finish this, i think i have to do anything i can, right?

ruiner:

[He] forced himself to breathe. "If you can kill me, you can help me. If you don't help me, I'll tell them about the fairy detector." It was that simple. He watched her consider it.

She did, for a moment, her head cocked so that her hair fell over the knees she'd pulled up between their chests. "You are a foolish child," she whispered, "who knows nothing of the world." She dragged her hands forward to cup his feverish cheeks between them. "Of course I can take you." Her breath was laced with a hundred sighs. "I am immortal. All I think about is Death."

home slices

2008-09-19T20:49:22Z

Siiiigh. Made more little avatar thingies for rosebush. But since they came in avatar sized pictures, I decided to use them as LJ avatars. I only made four, b/c I only have four spaces in my icons list. Since I don't use lots of these icons that often, I might delete some and go ahead and make the Celt and Brobstack. I tried to make Noah, but they don't have good glasses for him, and I'd have to fake his hair. (I had to fudge Deme's anyway, b/c they didn't have pigtails. No pigtails?! What kind of doll-maker site doesn't have pigtails as a hairs option?)

These were all made at Lunaii: http://www.lunaii-dollmaker.com/dollmaker/

pretty damn

2008-09-15T20:47:38Z

fer fuck's sake, people.

gotta a doc's appt for heart things, and a blood drive appt (which I hope the doc's appt won't disqualify me for), and MLA open house i intend to help out with all on wednesday. i also have an appt downtown for wrist/thumb stuff next week.

the thing that makes me all curselatory is that i got a referral to a dude for my ankle, got x-rays and everything, only to call for an appt today and find out he's not a doctor who figures stuff out. he only fixes stuff once someone else's figured it out. so I need to talk to my chickadee again and say wtfxup?

in other news, we'll be releasing neighbor kitty aka bret in the next couple of days. get'im while he's hot.

aaaand in more other news, i need to rite moar. i can't even blame soul-sucking depression, although i should be able to and it's slightly nauseating and discomfiting to be able to say that I'm not. blaming depression, i mean. or depressed, either. I'm just... extant. which is sad in a different way. am i different? have the losses this time been followed up more swiftly by the gains? or am i just better at coping?

~~or am i worse at coping? that's the one i worry about most.~~

either way, whatever it is that i'm not, it's draining my ability to create coherent sentences (as evidenced by this one). i can only keep going on rosebush because i planned it out ahead of time ~~and because i pester my friends incessantly about what kind of scene i should write next~~. none of my rp is getting done - not all my fault, mind you. but i'm not helping. i look at my list (yes, i keep a list) and i think i'm caught up except that that jp should have been done days and days ago, but it's not my turn so i'm okay, but really. i didn't add anything interesting or creative to that jp anyway. does it even count? and just how annoying is this self-pity?

pretty damn annoying, is the answer.

anyway, if the worst thing i can think up to talk about is how guilty i feel for not writing, i guess i'm doing pretty good.

oh yeah, speed regime lost again. i'm still loyal! they lost by one point, and we all know how. damn mods... using... strategy. not fair!

agelade @ 2008-09-12T17:32:00

2008-09-12T21:34:05Z

i don't care about your DAMN cell phone conversation. OR your dinnertime conversation. NO ONE DOES.

whatever happened to the inside voice??

CAT FOR KEEPS!

2008-09-12T20:35:54Z

Healths!: Yesterday was full of doctors. ... Actually I guess not. Not any fuller of doctors than the day before, I guess. I just saw more of them. Anyway. I got X-Rays for my ankle which won't tell us anything except that I didn't (hopefully) break any bones in my foot or ankle any of the last three times I did something otherwise horrible to it. I got a referral to some other dude who will, shit you not, download my exrays and then tell me to go somewhere else and get an MRI. YAY MONEY. I also got an oh-by-the-way blood test for those heart issue things. THEN more doctors for my wrist-slash-thumb issue, and another follow-up appointment later in the month to see whether I've been doing too much of my job.

My doctor, by the way, doesn't actually ever add up what I owe her whenever I go. She just looks at me and goes, "How much deductible!" and I say how much I have left, and she goes "Okay... we do hundred dollas today okay?" and I nod mutely and write a check. As a result, I have no idea how much any of this costs. She'll stop me from writing checks when I reach my deductible, and then she'll put the rest to my insurance. It's neat. When I first went to her, I had some $$ problems, and she worked around them similarly.

CATS!!: Update on Neighbor Kitty/Bret. He's doing SO MUCH BETTER. He's adorably lovey and his wounds are healing up nicely. He doesn't even smell like death any more! (Much.) So basically what I'm saying is OH GOD WE CAN'T LET HIM OUT ON THE STREET AGAIN. We can't keep him either though. If anyone - ANYONE GOOD AND KIND AND LOVING - wants a cat of uncertain age but certain temperament (that is: lovable and affectionate), please comment and let me know! We got him his rabies shots and he was fixed already when we took him in. We haven't had him tested for FIVL or whatever that acronym is, so that's on you. He's been wearing a flea collar and the vets gave him a flea treatment because they had to snip the collar off, so he's flea-less too. I don't know how he'll do with other cats. He's a bit fearful with one of ours, and he's deferential to the other cats that come around.

We will be releasing him. We just can't keep him in our basement much longer. It's safe for now, but as he gets healthier, it'll become a small, dark place with no space to run and no people to play with (aside from our frequent visits). If you find you want to see him or take him, but we've already released him, never fear! He's been around since before we moved in, and now that we've taken care of him, he's bound to come round even more often than he did before.

I repeat: If you want to rescue a kitty, he will still be available even after we've released him.

AMA!

2008-09-09T19:48:11Z

All right.

I've been in a lot of pain today, and off and on since February and Sparky's Horrible Plan of Doom to kill me with a bouncy ball. Some of you know this. Some of you have been spending the last few months telling me to stop bitching and go to the doctor all ready.

WELL.

I have an appointment Thursday at noon. Hooray! (I'm gonna try to sneak in the chest flutterings and probably carpal tunnel while I'm at it. A Threebie!)

Bret

2008-09-09T19:11:16Z

Backstory: On 30 August, Neighbor Kitty (a neighborhood cat who belongs to no one and is cared for by everyone) was mauled by a dog in front of our house. We saw it happen and helped the owner of the dog get him off, but NK ran off before we could get him into a carrier and get him to the vet. I wrote about this in an entry a few days ago, but it was buried in a bunch of self-pitying crap that the intelligent ones of you will have skipped.

RIGHT. So.

Neighbor Kitty showed up on the back porch last night around 9:30 or so. He was terribly skinny, so we brought him water and a can of wet food, which he chowed down on. He reeked, so we thought, Infection. After letting him chow down for a long while, almost the entire can, we bundled him into a cat carrier and then into the car. (After changing into pants and I know I know, shouldn't have let him eat so much if he's been half-starved this whole time, but he hasn't been sick yet, so there's that.) At the vet, we gave the name Brittany, because the neighbors had named him that.

The vet said he's probably got a fractured jaw, some broken teeth, but there aren't exposed nerves and he can close his mouth and eat comfortably. He had a fever and some gaping wounds on his face and elsewhere which were infected, but she gave him an anti-biotic shot that lasts 7-10 days, sometimes 14, so we don't need to pill him or anything. She gave him a rabies shot just in case and a flea treatment just in case (he's been fixed and someone put a flea collar on him, so someone could have done these things as well, but we wouldn't know), and some pain meds she said should hold him until the swelling went down and he wouldn't be in pain any more anyway.

She also said he's a boy, so we all agreed on Bret, though we all know we'll still be calling him Neighbor Kitty because that's just his name and there's nothing any of us can do about that.

We got a 10% discount for being good samaritans, which was nice.

We're keeping him in the video game room downstairs in the basement. The other cats aren't allowed in the basement at all, and this way, even if they slip down there while we're doing laundry, there'll still be the video game room door between them. V's been checking in on him all day, and he seems more cheerful, purrs constantly.

We plan on rereleasing him into the wild in about a week, if his condition steadily improves.

Rosebush Update

2008-09-08T17:52:37Z

Some of you may know that I'm writing a book. If you don't... you must be new. In whatever case, it's been a while since I've bitched/moaned/whined/updated re: it, and I'm not sure I've actually ever said exactly what it's about, so here goes.

The Rosebush Steward is an historical fantasy set in 1792, Welsh Brittania. The timeline's a bit different from actual history (hence, Welsh Brittania rather than Wales), although there are loads of thematic cognates throughout. Rather than having an Industrial Revolution through that time, there's something like a Magical Revolution. (Luckily I don't have to try to name it, since I doubt they'd be referring to it historically if they're living through it.) There's child labour, both the way it happened in real history and in an extra special way that pertains to young minds being able to harness dexter energy better than older ones. Kids get rounded up to work in Institutions, where they work on inventing tricks. Lots of things are the same; London has a rat problem, toilets haven't been completely figured out. France has a Revolution, just like in real life, only it morphs into something horrible because of a surprise explosion of magical proportions.

And there are fairies. Horrible evil fairies.

I've spent the last year and a half doing research for this monster, which will span three books (at least). I did three months of research before I even started writing. The main theme, I guess, is that history/destiny is based on words and names, and being named something can shape your whole life, or you can shape someone else's life in the future by what you do now. As an extension of this, mythology figures prominently, especially Greek and Celtic mythologies. You can find some excerpts from different chapters in my sidebar, but they aren't very long at all. Most everyone who wants to read it is reading it as I write it (creepy!) through google docs, but if you've somehow missed it and want to get in on the action, let me know. I'm not afraid of criticism. (Though I'm terrified of comparisons to that other fantasy series Which Shall Not Be Named. It's not my fault she used every fantasy conceit in the book!)

current word count == ~134,000 words; midway through chapter 18 of 20 planned

Happy Hanna, Humans.